Blindly Trying to Discover Life's Mysteries Within a Caffeine Withdrawal Haze

Forgive me. My head. I'm trying to quit coffee and I'm going through some serious withdrawals.

So I test software for a living. I actually find it a bit embarrassing so I whisper my occupation underneath a polite cough when people ask what I do. I just don't like being judged by my occupation and the misconceptions that go along with it: introversion, inability to communicate, goofballness...But despite its misconceptions, I really don't like what I do. I gotta get another job. I gotta get another man.

I actually got dumped last week. He criticized my vanity among other things. What's wrong with men? They want a girl who has perfect skin, nails, clothes, and hair. Then later complain the girl is "too high maintenance".
"I want a thin, attractive women," they say.
"Is that all you're going to eat? A salad?" they say.

Yes, you moron. Because you prefer thin, you asked a thin girl out and now you're surprised all they eat are salads. If they ate like you, they'd be obese.

I'm beginning to think that men are naturally stupid.
Yeah, yeah where have I been.

Yes I was dumped because I was too vain and still had cosmetic defects that he found problematic. This told by a man who's old, poor, doesn't have a stable job or an education, a beer belly, certifiably crazy (I have the meds to prove it) and ugly.

Ouch. Trust me though, he deserves it. But I said thank you, anxious to leave, after a rather awkward exit interviewish breakup and wondered what the hell was I doing with an untalented log. Maybe this whole boy issue is a sort of distraction from what really bothers me. My job.

I keep saying I'll do something about it. Well, darn it (and I'm stomping my leg) this time I mean it.
Honest.