Confessions of a Former Barbie Addict
Whether I am watching an A&E Biography, a Barbara Walters interview, or even the occasional (ahem, cough, cough) E! True Hollywood Story, and the subject is a successful woman, the story of her childhood is always begins the same way. “I never wanted to play with the other girls. I was always with the boys,” we are told as early home movies of school plays and family picnics of sunny days past flash on the screen. Or the woman in question looks at Babs and confesses with a smile that says “I am oh so incorrigible”, “I wasn’t’ interested in playing with dolls. I was such a tomboy.”
And so it goes… I have come to believe that whether this is actually the truth or not, women are conditioned to tell their story this way as part of a long tradition in which they hold up their boyishness as evidence that makes their success seem pre-ordained and inevitable. Even the heroines in books and movies are always impatient with other girls who are depicted as frilly and frivolous, pushing baby carriages and polishing their Mary Janes. Just as the tomboys are destined for greatness, the baby carriage pushers are destined to roll off into the sunset, having served their purpose as merely foils that illuminate the achievements of their spunkier counterparts.
After graduation, I entered the business world with some trepidation. I couldn’t help but think that that my past as a doll player and a Mary Jane donner was an indication that I was not meant for the serious world of business and commerce, and that to succeed I would have to be one of the girls who was more like the boys. It was my deep dark secret. I would feign total ignorance at the holiday party as co-workers discussed their daughters asking Santa for the latest from the American Girl Collection, even though inside I was dying to relate my own Fin de siècle high jinks with Samantha Parkington. Instead, I purposely created for myself the ant-girly persona I thought would help me to go far.
Well no more. From this day forward I am coming completely clean.
I had them all: Barbies, Ginnies, Cabbage Patch Kids, and the whole berry cute Strawberry Shortcake bunch(speaking of which, in her most recent incarnation SSC looks undeniably androgynous, having traded in her pink apron and green and white striped tights for a jeans, a t-shirt, and straw hat that makes her look more Huckleberry than Strawberry. It seems that even she, to be a modern woman has decided she must look more like a man). These were the characters that my best friend Maureen and I would spend the majority of our days with. We got caught up in the thrilling and imaginative sphere where we were little gods, crafting a world for our dolls and breathing life into them with the adventures we imagined. At times, there would be creative differences that could end in tears and name-calling. Then for a time our dolls would be left lifeless and abandoned, frozen at their tasks like the victims at Pompeii. But acknowledging the greater project at hand and hungry again for the high of “creating something” we were always able to ultimately navigate our differences and resume our play.
Why the sudden decision to throw off my inhibitions and break free of the doll hating shackles that society has placed on me? I think it is because I have come to realize that many of the skills I developed in my hours playing with dolls are the ones that have helped me in my career. Okay, so maybe learning to tie very very tiny shoe laces isn’t listed in the other “Other Skills” section of my resume, but I am convinced the life of the mind that this type of “pretend” helped me to develop early on has made me the person and the worker I am today. My skills as a creative thinker, my ability to work with and collaborate with others, my willingness to roll up my sleeves and truly immerse myself in a project with attention to detail, are all qualities that have been cited as my greatest strengths in the workplaces of which I have been a part. So I say (doll firmly in hand perhaps even shaking it at you in a threatening manner), “take that tomboys!”
Tory Johnson
Absolutely Annie
Balanced Woman
Been There, Done That
Career Changer
Comeback Mom
Fulltime Freelancer
Girl on the Go
Girlphyte
Image Architect
Magic Hands
Multitasking Madre
New Girl on the Job
Outside the Box
Planet Mom
Small Business Susan
Vivacious Vicki
Comments (6)
It's really interesting to read the comments here... i feel as if I was born on a different planet to girlie girls.... I loved speed racing, sport, animal toys and physical games growing up. I was always the token girl who wanted to play football, and couldn't (and still can't) understand my fellow females preoccupations with make up, clothes, etc. I've always looked after myself physically, but it's about having clean features and a sleek hair cut, rather than looking "pretty".
Go figure.
— Posted by Kit | January 3, 2008 12:29 PM | Comment Permalink
It's really interesting to read the comments here... i feel as if I was born on a different planet to girlie girls.... I loved speed racing, sport, animal toys and physical games growing up. I was always the token girl who wanted to play football, and couldn't (and still can't) understand my fellow females preoccupations with make up, clothes, etc. I've always looked after myself physically, but it's about having clean features and a sleek hair cut, rather than looking "pretty".
Go figure.
— Posted by Kit | January 3, 2008 12:29 PM | Comment Permalink
Balance is SO the key!
I agree Michelle. Somehow, I was able to get on the floor and play GI Joe with my cousin, Street Fighter in the Arcades and play soft ball in school, but also loved make-up and jewelry. Did I mention that I carried a purse to school every day, even though I enjoyed playing tag and running through the dirt during recess?
— Posted by Tuesday | July 4, 2007 9:18 PM | Comment Permalink
I am one of those women who preferred to play with the boys and with boy toys. They were so much more interesting. In high school and throughout my life men have always been the majority of my friends. I always envied the innate freedom that men seem to have as a birth rite. They have the ability to be able to shake themselves free of responsibility long enough to go "play." As women, we just don't play enough. It's always family, jobs, husbands, boyfriends, etc.
Even now in my fifty's, I prefer to have conversations with men because they don't waste time talking about mundane things such as housework, children and laundry. I want to hear about the next big business deal, the exciting exotic locale, sports or challenge. I know some women have these conversations, but eventually the focus will become domestic issues (home) or dating (as I am divorced) or how sorry men are. I just don't want to waste time or energy on those topics.
Now, I am a girly girl; very much into fashion and beauty. I just don't want to talk about it for very long. Men's conversations and actions are usually free of complications; less jealously and envy on a personal level. Their issues are egocentric, but as a woman I can deal with that and speak to it without offending many of them. Women tend to view me as a threat, whether professionally or socially. Which is just foolishness. Most men can vibe with me, and remain my friends (platonic and otherwise). I am just more at ease with men because I don't have to be anyone but myself. And, for the men I do intimidate; whatever. When I interact with women I have to "tone it down;" speak softly and not be true to myself. I am fortunate(blessed) to have ten (10) female friends who get me. I think that for women like me our society wants to put constraints on us to be more "like a woman;" whatever that means. The same assertiveness in a man is viewed as a positive thing, but a woman is called a b.... or a drama queen. And, the sad thing is so many women buy into this stereotype. Thus, my preference for strong male interaction.
— Posted by Delores | July 4, 2007 9:22 AM | Comment Permalink
BALANCE
I support both sides of this argument. I was always a mix between the girly girl and the tomboy. I could play handball, running bases, and tag football with the guys as well as sneak in my mother's room to play dress up with jewelry, makeup, and perfume. In high school I knew how to get riled up, sweaty and competitive for big Friday night basketball games and run straight home to shower, and get dressed and pretty for the big Friday night high school dance.
It's all about balance. I definitely believe that the balance I had while growing up has helped with the balance and personality that I now have as an adult.
And as we all know balance is a crucial ingredient to being successful in the workplace.
— Posted by Michelle | July 3, 2007 5:17 PM | Comment Permalink
I agree whole heartedly. I make no excuses for being a girly-girl. I have been since I was little and always will be. I love makeup, shoes, clothes, Tiffany jewerly, Audrey Hepburn movies, kittens and pink. I also graduated with a M.A. and a 4.0 GPA.
There was one female I worked with previously who was five years older (I am 30 in two weeks;). This age frame put her at an impressionable age during the 1980's dress-like-a-man, act-like-a-man, and get-paid-like-one mindset. She says she loves hot rod racing, sports, blah, blah, blah - she curses - she smokes a pack a day - she yells at her employees. Pure "tomboy" she called herself.
She made fun of all of my pink clothes and big, gaudy jewerly. You know why? She was jealous. Here I am... younger, girly, educated, and in a higher position than she. I also was engaged (married now) and very content with life. Her? Alone, drinking a six pack a night (literally). On many occasions, she attempted to put me down to others and in front of me. It never outwardly bothered me since she was looking for me to get angry and explode (to use against me).
You know, she should have watched 9-5 as much as I did. Those women put it to the man and stayed true to being a woman. Dolly is my hero!
— Posted by Kacey | July 3, 2007 2:44 PM | Comment Permalink