The Power of No

I had no idea one little word could have so much power. If only I had known, I would've started saying it a long time ago! There I was, overworked and involved in one too many projects. Make that way too many projects. Though I can't say I can blame anyone but myself. I love working on new projects and interacting with new people; it whisks me out of my comfort zone and adds a little spice 'n salsa to the day. Nevertheless, I seriously love working and have been known to take on more than I can chew.

"Leap and the net will appear," I proclaim! "You can sleep when you're dead!" All inspiring and indeed somewhat morbid, I revel in expanding my horizons. But when I was over-involved at the office last year my fantabulous boss gave me some of the best advice I'll ever hear. And boy, did I need it. "Vic, you gotta learn to say no." Okay, he didn't say it exactly that succinctly but his point was that people will actually respect me more if I turn down projects. It's okay to not do it all. And it's okay to keep one's mouth shut and not volunteer for something until you know exactly what your getting yourself into - time commitment et al. Since when did we feel like we needed to handle everything while having lipliner perfectly intact? I've realized okay to not do it all and it's fine to not even try. Even when you really want to.

Recently one of the organizations I'm involved with asked me to join their steering committee for a woman's retreat. I thought about those words of wisdom and realized I can't be true to myself or the countless projects on my plate, especially for this important initiative - it wouldn't be fair to them. And realizing what I learned the hard way which prompted my uber boss's words of wisdom, there's nothing worse than overextending yourself and saying to yourself later, "How did I get myself into this and better yet, how do I get myself out?" (especially when you know there's no exit door in sight.)

So I took a deep breath, dug deep and simply said (granted it was via e-mail but still....), "I'd love to participate but I need to respectfully decline. Thank you so much for thinking of me!"

There, I said it. Pfewww! Burden lifted! Okay, so I typed it but yay nonetheless. To which my colleague responded that she respects people who know their limits. See, my boss was onto something! The only thing is, while I realized it wouldn't have been fair to the committee because I wouldn't have been focused, it's like by saying no to one thing, you're saying yes to everything else you're already committed to and passionate about.

The little word "no", when stated tactfully (heck, even when it's not tactful), is empowering. It's liberating. And I can't wait to say it again.