Why is She Being Such a Bitch?
When I was writing my last book dozens of young women I interviewed all talked about a ubiquitous experience: working for a woman who was intent on making the workplace a difficult and unpleasant place for her underlings. When I was thinking about what to call the chapter about working with women there seemed to be only one obvious choice: “Why is she being such a bitch?”
It’s no surprise, then, that statistics reveal that women would rather work for a man than a woman. But my take is this. Whether it’s a woman behaving like a “man” or a man behaving like a “woman” or a woman behaving like a “woman” or a man behaving like a “man” just being nice should be the business strategy de jour, regardless of the gender bending you are doing – and that’s hardly conjecture.
A 2005 study in the Harvard Business Review, and reported in a December 2005 USA Today article, found that personal feelings toward an employee play a more important role in forming work relationships than is commonly acknowledged. In fact, it is thought to be even more important than how competent an employee is perceived to be. The message isn’t cryptic: treating the people who work for you well pay its dividends. It’s what inspired Geraldine Laybourne, the CEO and Chairman of Oxygen Media, Inc., to coin “nice is the new mean.”
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Comments (3)
I am not sure it is a woman vs. man thing, I have worked for men and women, and they are equally as ignorant and backstabbing as well as nurturing and nice. I believe it is a basic personality issue. Some people are just ignorant and their lives are miserable. They have not other options but to make others are miserable as they are and some are the exact opposite. Doesn't this entire conversation continue to perpetuate the stereotypes of women being "bitches"?
— Posted by Darcella Craven | July 10, 2007 11:37 AM | Comment Permalink
I've worked for women bosses who were absolutely wonderful. I found that confident, secure women don't need to bully anyone to make themselves feel or appear better in their role as a manager - they appreciate what the team has to bring to the table. My most recent experience working with a woman was less than - well, I can't even come up with a good adjective. It got to be where I was becoming full of self-doubt and wondering what the heck I had done wrong - even though the majority of my co-workers and I enjoyed great working relationships. Once I was transferred from that department, I was better able to see that it truly wasn't me. My new boss (yes, a man) has been encouraging and really has my back - so to speak. It's a good feeling to know that the competence and confidence I have in my position and my contribution to the whole isn't just something I think, but is validated by everyone I work with now. Blessing her on her journey.....
— Posted by Linda Ledford | July 10, 2007 11:35 AM | Comment Permalink
My first experience working with a woman who was an engineering lead at the time was a nightmare. She would pick and choose the things that I did wrong to blast about to the other team members. She would also often compare her career path to mine. I was always thinking, “You are already ahead of me in your career why does it matter?”
I can definitely relate to wanting to work for a male instead of female because it seems you don’t have to be on guard as much. I can understand wanting to be taken seriously and not trying to perceived as the overly emotional female. I just can’t relate to tearing someone down to build yourself up.
— Posted by Alicia Morgan | July 9, 2007 10:13 AM | Comment Permalink