Pinky and the Brain

I think I'm going to hell. Let me tell you why, but first please go easy on me. Our small department in the company (you can locate us on the bottom of the organization chart) is fairly disjointed and hostile because my co-workers try to compete for the manager’s approval. I don’t include myself because naturally my insecurity seeks love from men I date, not female managers.

Well on occasion people will stop by my cube or meet me in the hallway to complain about someone else or the work itself or the boss. Okay perhaps the word is gossip, but I refuse to admit that I partake in that nonsense.

Now during this process we discovered that it was easier to talk about someone by developing codenames for them. This became necessary because as conversations at work became intense and involved, I found myself chewing my shoe when I just realized the person I was talking about standing comfortably close to me smiling.

Here's the lowdown: the manager’s codename is Martha (Martha Stewart). We also have Gillian, Spongebob, Governor Gray Davis, Chicken Little, the-crazy-lady-who-talks-too-much, Pinky and the Brain, and Mr. Burns (the Simpsons). Here's a sample of our conversation:

"Governor Gray Davis came by today to ask me a question," The Brain tells me.

(OMG! I think I’m Pinky)

"Ugh the Governor. What did he want?"
"He's so stupid. Like I always have to repeat myself with him. And then eventually he gets it. He just messes things up."
"I'm so sorry, but I think Gillian may have had something to do with it."
"Gillian?!" she rolls her eyes "What did he do now?"
"Shh. I can't tell you now.
The-crazy-lady-who-talks-too-much is coming. I don't think I can bear another conversation with her. She’s crazy! Talk to you later." I politely exit out of the conversation by skirting down the hallway.

We all do it. Don’t we all do it? Don’t we?