The “B” Word: Benevolent vs. Bitch
At 36 years old and after 10 years of experience in my field, I’m finally opening my own little spa business. Although I have a little bit of help from family and friends, I am basically doing everything myself. I am the one doing the website, advertising, marketing as well as all the purchasing and services. Although it is exhausting, I have become obsessed with every minute detail. I wonder if I’ll get the reputation for being crazy and too demanding. You know how it can be as a woman. Am I going to be the B word for becoming successful and driven or will I be the benevolent ruler?
Now, when I go out with my friends, we walk up to the bar and I’m thinking that I would be better off spending my money on a print cartridge rather than a merlot! Then I rationalize that I probably really need that merlot! They’re thinking about dating the rich guy and I’m thinking how to make him a client. Have I become obsessed or just a typical business owner? When people ask what I do, I know they want the short answer. However, I find it difficult to stop talking about my new business and all the small details that fill my waking hours. When their eyes glaze over, I know I’ve said enough and I force myself to ask them about their life.
Is this normal? Is this right? Will my friends stop inviting me out? I’m finding that I don’t mind being either of the “B” words if that means I am a successful business woman.
Tory Johnson
Absolutely Annie
Balanced Woman
Been There, Done That
Career Changer
Comeback Mom
Fulltime Freelancer
Girl on the Go
Girlphyte
Image Architect
Multitasking Madre
New Girl on the Job
Outside the Box
Planet Mom
Small Business Susan
Vivacious Vicki
Work in Progress
Comments (5)
Bravo to all of the successful women in Australia and America. There's something to be said for a woman who can make it on her own and be successful in a male-dominated society.
Clearly, I am not a feminist but respect any woman who can reach her goals.
My only envy is, where in the world can a handsome Black man who is partial to White women find one of these attractive, successful women? :-)
Best regards Ladies,
Randall
CT, USA.
— Posted by Randall | March 28, 2008 6:37 PM | Comment Permalink
You go for it! These are your dreams, your vision and its your destiny! Nevermind the nay sayers and dream killers. What you are embarking on takes a lot of determination to get the job done! What you have to offer others by the way of perseverance and success is greatly needed, especially to other women that may be hesitant to get out there and fulfull their dreams! Pray, read the best of the best business books, and network with others that are traveling in the same path and look to those who are successful! We all have a story to tell, but that is because it will build character and it will encourage and assist many, many others! More power to you!
— Posted by Jeri | September 20, 2007 12:10 PM | Comment Permalink
I'm so glad I read your post! I'm in exactly the same situation, and you know what? There's no place else I'd rather be!
Yes, my friends quit inviting me out, but that's okay. I'm having more fun working anyway! They all think i'm crazy but I don't care. I have something to show for my time...what do they have :)...
I'll definitely be back to read more!
Have a great day!
— Posted by Tonya Nusser | September 3, 2007 2:12 PM | Comment Permalink
Magic Hands, it seems you are focused and excited about beginning your business. I commend you for finding the strength and courage to follow your dreams. I don't know what a typical business owner thinks when they meet people and I don't know if it is an initial reaction for all business owners to want to talk about their up and coming business. However, you should be careful. When you meet people, do you want them to meet the "real you"?
You're business is a big part of your life right now but it shouldn't consume your conversation. I can understand that in part it is the need to share your excitement for all the wonderful changes that are going on. If you are noticing that you are dominating the conversation, and mostly about your new business, continue to monitor yourself and remember that communication runs two ways. If you don't allow that person to communicate with you verbally, you will get the physical response of the "glazed look". You might also begin to see some of the other body languages that tell you that the person is no longer interested in your conversation. I can tell you what some of these signs are if you need them but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
However, remember to always stay in tune to who you are and let others know, as well. Remember to stay grounded. Continue to take care of yourself, go for that Merlot every once in while. It sounds like you deserve it!
— Posted by Elba | August 16, 2007 9:16 PM | Comment Permalink
I hear whole heartedly what you are saying. Recently, I started my own business but the operation of it has been running for quite some time. Devote as much as time that you can giGood luck and much success!
— Posted by Nakiba Jones | August 16, 2007 6:28 PM | Comment Permalink