Turn Left at the Next Cubby

My friend L called last night to tell me that my ex-husband says depressing things that are politically provocative, but never helpful in mobilizing people to organize. L is a leftist and thinks that I am interested in his opinion about my ex-husband. L was our neighbor before we split up and the building where he still lives is undergoing a nasty development. My ex-husband is a building-code expeditor and has gone to some tenant meetings to spread his gloomy outlook that eventually their landlord will prevail. L is angry because he wants the tenants to lead a revolt against the capitalist landlord, and he expects my ex-husband to be supportive and positive about it. So L complains to me, to no avail. We like to think we are politically correct.

If a colleague makes a disparaging comment about American politics, we agree and bemoan the fate of our country. But what if the person working next to you is an extremist and expects or badgers you to join/support their cause? If you’re just not that interested, it’s difficult to work with them. All of a sudden, you’re listening to them complain that the people they try to help are not paying attention to them They go on about past and upcoming demonstrations; tend to have really bad hair, and just never stop talking about their cause.

I’ve wasted a lot of time listening to people who are committed to issues I’m just not interested in and had a very hard time disengaging. Then my sister told me that people who are a little off like that don’t really notice that you cut them off. This works: “Sorry, I really have to go to the bathroom.” After a few times, some of them get the hint. If you figure out a better line, let me know.