What You Think You Heard Is Not What I Said

What you think you heard is not what I said or What I said is not what I think you heard or What you think you’re hearing is crazy stuff or I didn’t say that, What?...oh, never mind.

I had a favorite poster in the 70s. It was really quite plain. It had a black background with a picture of a four legged yellow stool and these words, "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant," or it went something like that.

I searched the net for 1970s Posters and “what you think I said.” I found the quote attributed to Richard Nixon, Robert McCloskey (State Dept Spokesman) among others. I don’t know about that, the poster is long gone and I couldn’t tell you if it noted the author or not. What I do remember is that it made perfect sense to me then, but not as much as it does now.

You would think in this age of communication and information galore that people would have a better understanding of each other. Communication between sexes, generations, teachers and students and of course the biggies, employers and employees, customers and “the company” or interviewer and interviewee, would be clear as glass. Trouble is, that's stained glass or down right muddied and not crystal clear. There’s more “noise” today than ever. Maybe it’s just my communication methods, and me but I’m getting the sense that’s not the case. Books have been published for ages on the very topic of miscommunications. I just think that it’s getting nosier, not clearer.

Emails, Cell Phones, Pagers, Blackberries, Land Line Telephones, VOIP, Snail Mail, Face-to-face conversations, voice messages, web casts, U-tube videos, digital images, social network profiles, conference calls, teleconference calls, telecasts, closed circuit TV, cable and more all impart a particular and unique noise in the communication process. Some people YELL with CAPS ON! Some don’t. Some people insist on leaving detailed voice messages over cell phones never knowing if they even have a clear line. I can’t count the times I’ve received, “Hi Jan-kchehekocohwekoh, I need a kchehekocohwekoh, immediately, call me kchehekocohwekoh right back on, but don’t use cell #* kche38hekocohwekoh25b and so it goes…

I had a job interview with someone that totally didn’t get me or my answers or I didn’t totally get their questions or what they were trying to communicate. In other words, "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” I tried my best to remain upbeat, positive and communicate my potential value and the real me. We not only failed to “click,” I think it cost me a very wanted opportunity.

Whether in personal interactions, business, marketing messages or job interviews, when misunderstood, to what lengths do you go to make sure your message is not only heard but also understood. How hard can we or should we push to try and gain a meeting of the minds, or on the other hand, like the late Gilda Radner’s Miss Emily Litella character, do you too resort to - “Oh, never mind.” Effective communication matters.