Follow Your Heart
Well I'm actually going to do it. I'm tired of fighting myself. I've been told to listen to my heart. The heart has all the answers. Perhaps I've been ignoring that soft-spoken voice all these years.
And maybe I was afraid, but I now believe the heart does speak the truth.
I'm leaving. I'm leaving California and am heading East next year. I'll be leaving my job, everything that I've worked for, my degrees, my friends, my family to pursue my dream of being an artist.
My financial adviser says I should consider a food budget but I won't have money for that luxury. He promises when he comes to visit for his once a year conference,
he'll treat me to a really nice dinner. I'm going to
be poor. I'm not going to have money for lavish purchases like a super cute jacket or gum.
My mother thinks I'm crazy. We have been getting into arguments almost everyday and she finally admitted that she will never support me. My friends think I'm crazy but they fully support the decision. I'm scared out of my mind! I won't know a single soul...
I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid I'll be throwing my whole life away on a whim. Maybe I'm having a chemical imbalance? I'm not sure if I'm going because I'm resisting my own life or whether this has become a true calling. "Follow your heart," they say.
I haven't told my dad yet, but I've inherited my insanity from him so he should understand. He may not initially...
They say this is the best time to do it. Without kids or a husband to worry about. My mother says that no one will want to marry a hippie who leaves everything she knows to follow a whim. I love my mother. She told me to see a therapist because I had officially gone mad. The therapist supports my decision to leave and told me that I am well adjusted kid pursuing a passion. My mother told me to see another...
And then there is the question of Love and Purpose. I want to serve and I want to love. I believe these two powerful forces will naturally appear in my life when I do decide to leave. There is no greater power than those two...for me anyway...for now. I might need to add Compassion and Cooperation further down the way.
I don't want to regret. I don't want to resent my life mentally stuck on what ifs as I begrudgingly awake from sleep in the morning unable to get out of bed. But I also don't want to be poor or alone. This is my dilemma.
"Follow your Heart", they say.
Tory Johnson
Balanced Woman
Been There, Done That
Career Changer
Comeback Mom
Fulltime Freelancer
Girl on the Go
Girlphyte
Image Architect
Magic Hands
Multitasking Madre
New Girl on the Job
Outside the Box
Planet Mom
Small Business Susan
Vivacious Vicki
Work in Progress
Comments (8)
I think this sums it up....
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
...Robert Kennedy
I'm in the same boat so keep your head up and good luck to the both of us!!
— Posted by Randi | December 14, 2007 12:32 PM | Comment Permalink
Annie,
You are indeed brave and I'm sure a lot happier now that you don't have to wonder what if!!!
I too am tired I've been doing the same thing for 20 years. It took that long to get my degree and it seems that I can't do anything with it. All of the interviews I've gone on that require a degree I have had no success. I usually get a second interview, but So far nada. Needless to say I'm dissapointed in the way my career change is going but you gave me hope to keep trying.
I'll be praying for your success!
— Posted by Jacquie | December 4, 2007 3:40 PM | Comment Permalink
Good Morning Absolutely Annie, I think you're awesome. It takes alot courage to change your direction. Whether you realize it or not you're walking out in faith. And I hope your Faith is anchored in God which ensures that all things are possible. You go girl!
— Posted by MLJosey | November 11, 2007 11:00 AM | Comment Permalink
Annie, excuse my "art" ignorance, but can you practice your craft in CA near supportive family and friends as easily as NY? Living an artist's life can be difficult with little financial backing. I'm all for "Follow the Heart," however, can't you ease into it? I'm assuming people (those would be the ones "buying" your art) are fawning all over your talent and you can't produce fast enough to meet the growing demands. If that is the case - I say jump and follow your heart! If not, well, maybe you do what many theatrical artists have done for ages, work a job for the $$ and your craft at the same time while you build up your following. Either way you go, good luck. I agree you do have to follow your heart, just don't starve in the process.
— Posted by Janine | October 22, 2007 3:42 PM | Comment Permalink
well you'll know one person when you get to the east coast. ME. i'm in nj and i'm all for following your heart no matter what...when i went to college i found a sugar packet with a great quote on it that i have kept all these years.....it is better to have failed in something than succeeded in nothing. that has been my mantra ever since!
— Posted by lora | October 17, 2007 10:13 PM | Comment Permalink
WAY TO GO!
You only have today so enjoy the adventure!
— Posted by Lucinda | October 16, 2007 6:39 PM | Comment Permalink
I would say go for it- I did. I left California on a month's notice to move to New York City, that was 2 and a half years ago and I haven't looked back. It was brutal and hard and shaped me and made me wonder what I was doing, but ultimately, now I feel like I know where I belong. Just don't expect love or purpose to find you. All the luck in the world, Annie!
— Posted by Megan | October 16, 2007 5:29 PM | Comment Permalink
Hi Absolutely Annie. I want to encourage you to pursue your dreams. I left a job I was not happy at and at the time I didn't have anything else lined up. It would be a year of soul searching before I figured out what it was I really liked to do in addition to embracing my passion for writing. During that time, money was scare and true friends were even rare. My parents respected my decision and sometimes I could feel that they were growing impatient with my lack of direction. It is going to be scary and liberating at the same time. You will find out who is really there for you and who is just connected to because of your status or title so to speak. I applaud your courage and determination to follow your heart. Best wishes to you in all of your endeavors.
— Posted by A.M. Morgan | October 16, 2007 8:23 AM | Comment Permalink