In Honor of Richard

Friends come into our lives in a variety of ways and if the friendship lasts, we sometimes forget just how we first met. However, that doesn’t hold true when it comes to my friends who first began as former co-workers, since we tend to rehash old workplace issues over a glass of Cabernet with a side of laughs. Even though we’ve all moved on, there are only about four of us who stay in touch and I wonder if that would still be the case if e-mail were not an option. Hitting “reply all” does have its advantages when trying to arrange a get together.

When my children were in school, I didn’t have time to socialize with my coworkers, since I needed to rush home to be sure schoolwork was completed, meetings attended, and anything else that a mom needed to do was done. The following day, I’d hear about the coworkers’ social escapades. On one level, I felt I was missing out and saw how friendships were being forged; but on another, I’d witness some of those same friendships falling out due to a misunderstanding and be grateful I wasn’t part of the drama.

Over time, though, once my children were in college and I was in a new work environment, I’d occasionally meet up with a few of my peers for a drink or dinner. Now, even though most of us have advanced in our careers, we try to regroup, if not in person at least via e-mail. I get news of babies (or grandbabies) being born and they hear about the publication of my latest book. We do try to get together with actual face time, but it seems to be longer stretches in between.

Recently, though, I got word of one of my former coworkers succumbing to an illness. I didn’t have a lot in common with him and I don’t recall ever actually socializing with him, but when our paths did cross on the job, he’d ask how I was doing or what was going on with my children. Because I knew that he was an avid birdwatcher, I’d make sure he’d know about the publication of the latest bird watching book and once gave him a copy as a “just because” gift. I’m sure that my friends have their own memories of this sweet man and I’m sure they will share them when we get together, which is something we’ve been trying to arrange. It’s been years since my friends and I worked together, but at the time there was no way I’d know the impact they’d leave on me. Now, I look forward to when we raise our glasses in honor of our former co-worker and friend, Richard, and together fondly recall our memories.