Playing by the Rules

My children and I used to play Monopoly™ when they were younger. We had our own set of rules. It was the same when we played Scrabble™ or other games. As long as all of the players agreed on the rules, what’s the harm? When some of the players disregard the unwritten rules that the rest of us play by the results may not be what we expect.

Not just when playing games, I find the concept of playing by the rules comes up every day in every facet of life. It seems, to me, more people are choosing to not play by the rules or making changes to which the rest of us didn’t agree. I’m not being a stickler here; I’m talking about common decencies and manners that seem to be dwindling or down right missing from society at large or at a minimum, the business community.

I’ve tried to teach my children, mind their manners, be courteous to other people, say please and thank you, send notes of appreciation when they receive a gift or a kind gesture, don’t cut the line, be patient with others, have compassion, hold your tongue if you can’t say anything nice or good and your negative contribution or even constructive criticism isn’t going to make a positive difference. There are more rules than these, many of which go unwritten or unspoken, but I always assumed that everybody knows what they are. Not anymore. It seems the rules have changed and the “Golden Rule,” has become “he/she who has the gold rules.”

Speaking of gold, the best way to obtain it is through employment, whether by self or through a third party? When people contact me about assistance in job searches I always try to take a minute to pass along an idea, a name, or a possible job contact. Following an interview or informational meeting when someone provides me assistance, I send a thank you. It is sometimes in email form if it has to get there quickly, but preferable a hand written note. After which, I expect a yes or no to whether they are interested in pursuing a working relationship.

If you watched the Good Morning America Segment for the Comeback Mom, you heard me say to Tory, “I’ve sent thousands of resumes.” That is truly not an exaggeration, resumes, letters, emails, phone calls and face-to-face meetings regarding the job searches I’ve conducted over the years since becoming a Comeback Mom. I can likely count on two hands the replies I’ve received from potential employers or contacts. When I was job-searching immediately following college graduation it was unheard of to not receive a reply from a potential employer. Positive or negative a letter was sent and we used the latter to wall paper our wall of “rejection.” How much easier it is today to follow-up with an email, yea or nay. Job searching is not an easy task. Not getting replies makes it feel like a black hole sucking all enthusiasm and hope from the seeker.

Sometimes you do everything you think you’re supposed to do and the outcome just isn’t what you expect. Win, lose or draw, I’ll always lend a helping hand or follow up with a thank you because I’m playing by my rules.