The Power of Change, Courage and Confidence

When the leaves fall, we all think of change.

Now is the age of women. It is our time. The facts are in: we are the majority in post secondary education and in the professions; we are mainstays in the workplace; we are starting the majority of new businesses; and we determine how money is spent – at work and at home. We have arrived.

So what does that call for from each us of?

One thing is clear and it’s been clear since 1936 when Dale Carnegie first published his seminal, How To Win Friends and Influence People - attitude. The single element that has the biggest impact on your own success is – attitude. As the Cowardly Lion learned, to get that “I know who I am”, I know my special gifts/ “signature strengths” and I can do it – is courage. The popularity of “The Secret” has recently reconfirmed it.

All that’s missing are two key ingredients – knowing the real secret – what makes you happy and having the confidence to trust it and pursue it.

For the building phase of my life, 20- 40, I defined myself by what I did, equating what I did with who I was.

During my 40s, with my “Checklist for Life” well ticked, so was I. I’d succeeded as a partner, wife, and lawyer. The larger questions: Who am I? What do I want for me and as my legacy eluded me. Also clearly absent was the satisfying sense that much of the journey had truly been a result of my own choices. Too many expectations, social and otherwise had complicated it.

With the security of having “been there” and “done that”, I came to the realization that it was not about what I did but who am I and what I want to be that counts. Pursuing that takes a great deal of confidence. Not only confidence in risk taking (personal, financial, public), but the confidence of knowing what makes you happy and the confidence that making yourself happy is the best investment in yourself, your family and your career you can ever make. Oh yes, and the confidence that you’re worth it. So many women I speak to aren’t certain about that. Don’t even try to justify that. Trust me. You are. And if you have even the slightest doubt on that score – just call. I’ll be delighted to confirm it.