Yeah, I Have A Strong Personality…And So What?
Ok, so I’m 36 and single. Never married, no kids. Woe is me. I really want to be happily married with a family, but it hasn’t happened. So I have been asking my friends to tell me what I’m doing wrong. They all say the same thing. Your personality is too strong and men don’t really like a strong, somewhat aggressive woman. So how do I go about being “less” Lora?
They say I need to “tone down” my opinions and mouth. So, do I say very little, smile and laugh at their bad jokes just to get a second date? What happens if I slip and they find out I know about “covered calls”, the 1978 Yankee lineup, and Reaganomics? Will they never ask me out again? I also cook my butt off, have a makeup case that weighs at least 30 pounds and have multiple pairs of fuzzy slippers embedded in my stiletto collection so they don’t scratch up against each other? A few months ago I went out to a club wearing a wig with long black hair down to my mid back. Two hotties asked for my number and I got lots of stares. Now I want to wear a wig everyday! Again, what happens when they find out about the real me? This reminds me of a Sammy Davis song, “I gotta be me. What else can I be but what I am.”
Tory Johnson
Absolutely Annie
Balanced Woman
Been There, Done That
Career Changer
Comeback Mom
Fulltime Freelancer
Girl on the Go
Girlphyte
Image Architect
Multitasking Madre
New Girl on the Job
Outside the Box
Planet Mom
Small Business Susan
Vivacious Vicki
Work in Progress
Comments (6)
Men want something they can't have. Thats common knowledge. I dont have the answers to your questions, unfortunately. My husband comes close to being able to dealing with me. Maybe thats as close as Im going to get. I just dont know. It's very hard to be a strong woman with a self awarness.
— Posted by Rachel L Ford | November 24, 2007 1:12 AM | Comment Permalink
My name is Carol, I am 48, single, grandmother of 4 and never been married and can't even find a man who wants to date or even try to engage in a relationship. I have been looking on-line for men in the 50's range and can't find a one! What is wrong with these men out here who are single and looking?????? I have met a few and nothing comes out of any of the meetings....all they want to do is play. I am not drop dead gorgeous or attractive by any means....I don't understand these men today......what do they want?
— Posted by Carol | October 26, 2007 12:21 PM | Comment Permalink
To anyone who can help: Myself and another Nurse would like to start our own company, providing personal services such as: Reflexology/Massage, Personal Trainer, Nutrition Counseling, to de-stress Corporate America, in "their offices". What do you think about this venture, and how we would get started? Thanks!
— Posted by Trish Astleford | October 22, 2007 3:54 PM | Comment Permalink
Lora - Believe me, the last thing you need to do is change yourself. Why on earth would you want to date someone who doesn't appreciate the woman that you are? Why lower your expectations of life? It would be living a lie, and in the end you would only resent the man you're dating and yourself. It's an unhealthy road to take, and I seriously advise you not to travel there.
There are men out there that love the woman that doesn't need him. The woman that knows herself inside and out and dares not to let society taint her. You are a Spartan woman, and I don't believe you should ever change just to fit in. If you're good enough to have friends, you're good enough to have a partner.
— Posted by Niki | October 22, 2007 3:38 PM | Comment Permalink
Lora, IMHO sometimes it's not looking for the right person, but being the right person. Jobs and marriage have a lot in common. You don't want to be in a bad one! I agree with the first post - be yourself, be positive and happy. I say, don't ever be "less" you! In fact, be more you - the happy positive innovative "out-of-the-box" you. Volunteer for organizations in which you feel strongly, maybe you'll find a soul mate there with as much "passion" for a cause as you have. Then when you go on that first date you know you have something in common, something you can both believe in. ...when you least expect it!
— Posted by Janine | October 22, 2007 3:29 PM | Comment Permalink
My sister is single, 47, never married, no kids and doesn't date because she is never asked out. She's fiercely independent, has a strong personality and is very intelligent. She travels extensively for work but in all her travel and people she meets from coast to coast no one has ever introduced her to a potential date. She's attractive and funny and has a lot to offer. I think men in general are afraid of her independence. I say stick to your guns and make the best life for yourself as you can. Maybe that special someone will come into your life when you and my sister least expect it.
— Posted by Meryl | October 22, 2007 10:44 AM | Comment Permalink