I have to agree with Nikki. You shouldn't have to change who you are. You just have to find the person that appreciates who you are. We are all born with personalities and temperments. Of course we shouldn't be rude and disrespectful, but I have a feeling that isn't your issue. It seems that the right one just hasn't come around yet. (Though this blog post is two years old so you could be married by now). But changing your personality and trying to be someone you aren't to get someone to like you isn't the answer because then it isn't really you that they are liking. I am a person that is usually very misunderstood. People are always saying that they think I am thinking or feeling or behaving in a certain way for a certain reason and they are usually way off. But anyone who takes the time to get to know me, instead of assuming they do, rarely misunderstand me. So it is just a matter of finding that person that can know you for the real you and appreciate who you are.

Do yourself a favor and read Barbara Abernathy's book about Venus on Top. It would change your life.

Lora,
I know what you are going through. My "strong personality" has effected me in a different way. I actually have always had good success with dating because I was more "down to earth" and approachable then my friends. I am happily married now to my polar opposite..a quiet, go with the flow kind of guy. It CAN happen. My husband says my strong personality is what attracted him to me and that most people just don't take the time to see through it. However, I am finding that there is a fine line between outspoken and just down right rude. It was a suprise to me (j/k) to find that not everyone wants to hear your opinion on everything. Also, some of us with "strong personalities" tend to be a little on the negative side, and people don't like to surround themselves with negative people. Don't change who you are, just fine tune it....we should all be doing this throughout our lifetime to become better people. The problem i tend to have is at work. I work with the public and have a hard time hiding my irritation when someone is being unreasonable or rude. It gets me in trouble often...and without a doubt, out comes that phrase......STRONG PERSONALITY!!!

Lora,
I know what you are going through. My "strong personality" has effected me in a different way. I actually have always had good success with dating because I was more "down to earth" and approachable then my friends. I am happily married now to my polar opposite..a quiet, go with the flow kind of guy. It CAN happen. My husband says my strong personality is what attracted him to me and that most people just don't take the time to see through it. However, I am finding that there is a fine line between outspoken and just down right rude. It was a suprise to me (j/k) to find that not everyone wants to hear your opinion on everything. Also, some of us with "strong personalities" tend to be a little on the negative side, and people don't like to surround themselves with negative people. Don't change who you are, just fine tune it....we should all be doing this throughout our lifetime to become better people. The problem i tend to have is at work. I work with the public and have a hard time hiding my irritation when someone is being unreasonable or rude. It gets me in trouble often...and without a doubt, out comes that phrase......STRONG PERSONALITY!!!

Ah the strong personality title.. i had to look up the definition as both my parents have been called 'strong personalities; and they have caused me the greatest suffering of my life as a result.. now, when i speak the way they spoke to me, patterning their example, i am called 'inappropriate b ehavior in the workplace'... and the mother from everybody loves raymond was described as a strong personality.. she is also called a bitch.. so, what is the difference? how do we stop this? Why are men not called this word? Why do so many men at work and home hate a strongwilled woman?
AND THEY ASSUME I DONT NEED LOVE AND AFFECTION AND THAT I CAN DO EVERYTHING MYSELF EVEN WITH A FEVER OF 103! THAT IS THE CRAZY BACKLASH.. I WOULD LIKE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF ONCE IN AWHILE, TOO! STRONG WOMEN UNITE

My husband and I have recently had another one of our discussions that come after a period of resentment and silence (on both sides). We are polar opposite personalities.He is a more 'follow-the-rules', quite, respectful of all authority type (and practical-he would add). I am outspoken, opinionated, and not one to necessarily show respect just because someone is in a position of authority (I don't think they always deserve it). ANYWAY!! In our latest conversation he said that he thinks that I am immature for my age (40). Ouch! He is 30 and a self-proclaimed fuddy-duddy type as opposed to my tree-hugging everything/anything is possible type. It DRIVES ME CRAZY that he is so passive, just as is drives him crazy that I am the opposite. We are not sure how to continue making it work. In a nut shell: I drive a Suburban but he wants me to drive a mini-van ("it's more practical"). I feel like he would like me to be the conservative, straight-laced (except in bed), frugal type... THAT IS NOT ME!

Men want something they can't have. Thats common knowledge. I dont have the answers to your questions, unfortunately. My husband comes close to being able to dealing with me. Maybe thats as close as Im going to get. I just dont know. It's very hard to be a strong woman with a self awarness.

My name is Carol, I am 48, single, grandmother of 4 and never been married and can't even find a man who wants to date or even try to engage in a relationship. I have been looking on-line for men in the 50's range and can't find a one! What is wrong with these men out here who are single and looking?????? I have met a few and nothing comes out of any of the meetings....all they want to do is play. I am not drop dead gorgeous or attractive by any means....I don't understand these men today......what do they want?

To anyone who can help: Myself and another Nurse would like to start our own company, providing personal services such as: Reflexology/Massage, Personal Trainer, Nutrition Counseling, to de-stress Corporate America, in "their offices". What do you think about this venture, and how we would get started? Thanks!

Lora - Believe me, the last thing you need to do is change yourself. Why on earth would you want to date someone who doesn't appreciate the woman that you are? Why lower your expectations of life? It would be living a lie, and in the end you would only resent the man you're dating and yourself. It's an unhealthy road to take, and I seriously advise you not to travel there.

There are men out there that love the woman that doesn't need him. The woman that knows herself inside and out and dares not to let society taint her. You are a Spartan woman, and I don't believe you should ever change just to fit in. If you're good enough to have friends, you're good enough to have a partner.

Lora, IMHO sometimes it's not looking for the right person, but being the right person. Jobs and marriage have a lot in common. You don't want to be in a bad one! I agree with the first post - be yourself, be positive and happy. I say, don't ever be "less" you! In fact, be more you - the happy positive innovative "out-of-the-box" you. Volunteer for organizations in which you feel strongly, maybe you'll find a soul mate there with as much "passion" for a cause as you have. Then when you go on that first date you know you have something in common, something you can both believe in. ...when you least expect it!

My sister is single, 47, never married, no kids and doesn't date because she is never asked out. She's fiercely independent, has a strong personality and is very intelligent. She travels extensively for work but in all her travel and people she meets from coast to coast no one has ever introduced her to a potential date. She's attractive and funny and has a lot to offer. I think men in general are afraid of her independence. I say stick to your guns and make the best life for yourself as you can. Maybe that special someone will come into your life when you and my sister least expect it.