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Men and the Non-Desperate Woman

by Magic Hands on December 10, 2007 7:18 AM

The other day I was online waiting for coffee at Dunkin Donuts. As I turned around to leave, I noticed the man behind me was staring at my chest. “Ugh, isn’t it too early for that?” raced through my mind as I escaped to my mobile sanctuary. Before I could make my escape, the x-ray vision man stopped me and made quick enough conversation and passed me his card. Since I’m 36 and single (to most people that’s desperate), I called him.

We talked a few times and made plans to meet the next Monday. Sunday night, he texted me and I asked what the plans were for our date. He said he had no plans and I never got another text after that. Monday night he finally called me. I reminded him that we were supposed to meet tonight. His response was, “Well I was busy and you said you wanted to take it slow”. Umm, when did taking it slow mean making plans, and breaking them with no call to let me know.

I proceeded to tell him in a very nice way that what he did was unacceptable and showed a total lack of social skills. It’s not a great way to start dating. He then treated me like I was expecting too much and I should be happy he’s calling me at all. Yes, I am 36, single, never married and no kids. Although most people consider that pathetic and desperate, I don’t agree. Nor do I think that gives anyone the right to treat me like a desperate spinster. If I was 25, would men treat me like this? Do I just attract losers? Is this what dating consists of in 2007? After our conversation and his ½ apology, we talked a bit and I told him I had to do some work. I hung up and he called me twice again that night. I never picked up the phone because THAT would be desperate!

Comments (2)

I was always told while I was growing up that "a person will only do to you what you allow them too". Dating is a gamble (sort of like a game) in which two people try to figure out just how far the other person will allow them to go. The sad thing is that guy probably did that to someone else and they accepted it. Never settle for disrespect besides never make someone a priority when you are only an option to them.

— Posted by A.M. Morgan | December 10, 2007 12:00 PM | Comment Permalink

Magic Hands--
The sad news is that, yes, at 25, 26, or 36, whatever the age, especially in the Big Apple, all of these losers pull stunts like this. Sad to say--this is dating in 2007. My personal opinion is that it is worse in New York. What are we going to do??

— Posted by On My Way Out Of NY | December 10, 2007 11:18 AM | Comment Permalink

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