My Own Worst Enemy

We must be viewing the same reflections! When caught up in your own entanglement of self-doubt and esteem issues, you don't even realize how many others out there battle the same woman (or man) in the mirror.

I've known for a very long time that I was my own worst enemy. Unfortunately it took me almost the same amount of time to do something about it.

70 lbs and a revolving door of jobs later, I finally decided enough was enough and I took a risk. I took that job that I had convinced myself I could not do. I found the right organization and the right mentor and it has made it so much easier.

And yes I feel overwhelmed and in over my head at times. But at the same time I am invigorated and engaged. I see a future for myself that I hadn't seen in a very long time. I'm even thinking about doing an MBA. Something I had ruled out for myself quite a while ago.

So were the years wasted? I like to think not. I have two quotes that are taped to my computer screen at work and they are words that make sense to me and I live by now.

The first:

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want".

Failure and disappointment are not bad things. It's how we learn what we want, what we are good at but, most important, what is important to us. I consider none of this time wasted. I needed to go there in order to get to today.

The second quote:

"Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be".

It's a daily reminder to take a chance. I'm not talking about jumping out of an airplane or anything crazy like that. It's just a reminder to push myself out of my comfort zone, even if it's just a tiny step.

It's simple physics really- we need some kind of tension to propel us forward. Otherwise we stay static and never go anywhere.

Alicia,
I applaud you. I celebrate who you are and what you have accomplished. Your words of encouragement, honesty are a testament to all women. We should embrace who we are and you are right, once we love and learn to know who we are. We can embrace each other and share each other's success stories. You are a phenomenal woman, be encouraged to continue to be a phenomenal woman.

Kudos to you!

Thank you for your inspirational words of encouragement.

Best Wishes,
Katherine

Alicia, you need to get gutsy! So many women have this problem. I read that a big part of the reason why women make less than men is because they are too timid or afraid to ask for more pay. We need to break this vicious cycle and have the confidence to demand what we deserve!

I found a fun application on Facebook that helps me with my gutsy "affirmations" every day. It's called I Am Gutsy, and it helps me keep a good mind frame.

apps.facebook.com/iamgutsy

Cheers,
Stephannie

Great post, Alicia. So many of us hold ourselves to standards that we feel we must live up to. We don't see that we are enough just as we are. Each of us brings something to the table that no one else can.

I know what you mean, I want to remain not the center of attention but when you have your own business you can't stand in the corner like a wall flower.

It's not that I'm bad with socially interacting I just prefer a less interactive number of people to socially interact with and that sometimes pulls me to the corner just to catch my breath.

Alicia,
What amazes me is, here you are an accomplished women, intelligent, beautiful, passionate about what interests you, with much to be proud of. It is your own internal voice that tells you (at times) other wise. Men do suffer from this, but I believe not as much or often as women. We have been conditioned to believe IT, what ever we have, can be, do, is never enough.

In my past, I worked for a Real Estate department within a large bank that handed out mugs to the employees (mostly women) that said, I'm paraphrasing here, "Good Enough, the enemy of excellence." I said, it took me 40 years to say, this is good enough. This mug isn't a motivator, to women it is a death sentence."

We all have to learn to say, Good Enough. Especially when as women we tend to be perfectionists. To prove to others that we are indeed, Good Enough. I say, we should be proud of our accomplishments, no matter how large or small. They are ours and no one can repeat what we have achieved in exactly the same way.

I know this is a tired phrase, but you go girl! Honestly, this came home for me one day when my daughter, Kate (then aged 7), came home to tell me of something great she had done. She did a little, go Kate, go Kate dance, while telling me. I think I was proudest of her self awareness of accomplishment more than the actual accomplishment. Here's to doing our own "go Kate" dance to celebrate as you said, our phenomenal selves, imperfect and unique!
- Comeback Mom

I think that everyone feels that way at different times in their lives. I believe that if you don't have some doubt sometimes that your arrogance will lead you to an easily avoidable, unforeseen downfall.