Shaking the Balance of our Lives

Recently my husband had surgery that required him to go on disability for 6 weeks. Originally I thought it would a great opportunity to have him home, pitch in with the kids and house work, and even work with me and my business. After week one, I was frazzled, exhausted, and had a much clearer view on the reality of our summer.

Although I am the multitasking madre, I am not the bread winner in our family. Therefore when the disability situation arose, I rearranged my schedule and life and took on the role of bread winner. This entailed me working many more hours outside of the home than I normally do. Generally I have a staff that teaches the majority of our language classes, however this summer I taught all of them and continued to do the behind the scenes work of publicity, marketing, website development, interviews, financials, etc. My bubble was burst when the surgeon told us my husband could not drive for 6 weeks. The vision of me going happily off to work while my husband stayed home with the kids and did laundry, kept the house in order, shuttled them to appointments, camps, classes, and play dates until I returned home was a not at all what I experienced.

As a work at home mom for most of my children’s lives, they have become so used to having me around and needing me for certain things, that although my husband would be sitting 2 feet from them, they came searching for me to solve whatever crisis they had at the moment. The driving issue was so hectic that I actually would get a sick feeling in my stomach in the mornings as I reviewed our crazy schedule. I was driving all over the state teaching classes, shuttling my husband to and fro from physical therapy, dropping kids off at camps, and classes, and then returning to my house which most of the time was a disaster.

Now I am not saying my poor husband didn’t try. He did give a good effort, however his limitations were such that he really couldn’t do as much as we had hoped. My young children loved having their daddy home and getting so much attention from him. Slowly I began to just let things go, namely the housework. My husband embraced the time with the children and let go of his frustration for not being able to accomplish certain tasks. I began to focus more on how much I was getting accomplished working full time, and started to ask for help with the driving madness. I soon realized I could not be in three places at one time.

I realize many women work full time, run their households, and care for their children all on their own. I admire and have so much respect for them, as the job is 24/7. As women we are masters of multitasking and taking control of our lives, however I have learned that sometimes letting go of certain aspects leads to a much more stress free and balanced life. It was an excellent learning experience for me, as I know I am very fortunate to have the support from my husband as I run my business from home and care for my children.

Needless to say, we were thrilled that his recovery went smoothly and even more thrilled that our lives are back in balance. Our schedules have returned to normal and we realize that when there is an upheaval in the balance of our lives, there are often many lessons to be learned.