The Story, Sigh.

Where to begin? I moved to NY to follow my dream. I cried going onto the airplane. I teared as I saw the LA lights drift away. I was missing all my friends, my family. Although quite happily, I was quite glad that the whole rat race gig was over.

I arrived in January, subletting from an actor, who begrudgingly opened the apartment door adorned in a rutty, olive bathrobe and slippers in equal condition. Granted it was 5:30 am. He barely said hello and shelped his way back to his bedroom (which would soon be mine) and returned back to his slumber. I hung out in the kitchen excited as all heck not knowing what to do with myself. I had loads of energy. Ah. New York. So long ago.

I expected so much from the city. I have to tell you about my lovely roommate that I had for two months on the Westside, then moved Uptown in Hamilton Heights to a much, much smaller apartment. I swear I could extend my arms and reach both walls. I freaked seeing roaches and a rat in our apartment and my roommate said, "This is NY, whatdya expect?" Not rats, senor. So I moved again. The great thing about that experience was that my Spanish went from non existent to fluent.

New York. The city was everything I thought it was...and wasn't. Don't expect Her to hold your hand. No, if you come to conquer and your glorified ego gets a little carried away, NY will smack ya down good to your rightful corner. Again. And again. And again. And maybe one more time for good luck.

There's so much to say. I met many famous people, and argued with a very (very) famous man who tried to dismantle and crush my dream so idly. And I almost got married the day after meeting a man who is just as impulsive and neurotic as I am.

Then I unexpectedly had to return to LA, planning a brief trip, leaving the majority of my stuff in NY. This is what's odd. That time away from the chaotic, electric buzz of the city made me realized that I didn't, no that I *couldn't*, go back. I felt paralyzed unable to move. This feeling affected my mood, my relationship with my future husband, and ultimately my dream to an unhealthy extreme. I stayed with a severe depression and a feeling of hopelessness. Let's just say suicide was not out of the question. Then again, I think everything happens for a reason.

Allow me a few more blogs to explain...