The Way We Are? Part 1

I never, ever watch TV. In my last apartment, I literally didn’t know how to turn the thing on. I struggled to power it up to check the weather or watch the occasional ballgame. But that’s it. Most of my friends think I’m old fashioned, like I’m also churning my own butter or reading Poor Richard’s Almanac by candlelight. I just like to think of myself as old school.

Now that I’ve moved to New York, I have this weird obsession with morning shows, secretly delighting in the fact that they are filmed (more or less) right down the street! So now, I do know where the “ON” button is, and most mornings during the week, I eat breakfast and have my coffee watching a morning show. On a recent morning show, there were two specialists visiting as authorities on confidence and attitude. One woman was a psychologist and the other was a body language expert. Right off the bat, I thought it interesting that they were both women. They went on to talk about how we - people in general - present ourselves in public, and how that represents us to the world. They spoke about the “vibe” we give off in a room, how our body language (think: posture, smile, gestures) shows how we feel about ourselves, and how confidence is attractive to others. They gave tips on how to increase one’s awareness of one’s confidence level, and how to change one’s inner dialogue to command self-awareness. Loved it.

After watching the morning show, with confidence on the brain, I went to the gym. In the locker room, there were women of all shapes, sizes, shades, and styles. And whether all of us would like to admit it or not, every type is checking out the other ones. It’s such a strange culture. Observing women in a gym setting drew parallels between the psychologists’ points and real life. I found myself impressed by some women, wondering what they did at the gym, and thinking, maybe I should be doing that – I felt motivated. I found myself cheering on others, who looked like they had put in a lot of great sweat, but had a long way to go. Whether the “fit” woman or the “effort-making” woman, it was all a comparison of myself to them. I was thinking about the way they were holding themselves, how confident they appeared, what their posture said about them, and then trying to observe those same things in myself.
How did they see me? And, what does this say about my own confidence?

From the poem “Desiderata,” by Max Ehrmann:
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Something to think about…