The Way We Are? Part 2

The Wellness Woman on October 9, 2008 9:13 AM

People always say that when women go out, we actually are getting dressed up for each other, not for the men in our lives (I can hear John Mellencamp and Me’shell Ndegeocello singing “Wild Nights” right now). Because we know how our hair should look. We know if that dress does not work with those shoes. We can tell how many times she has (or hasn’t) been to the gym lately. Have you ever been at the bar, and liked another girl’s style, but held back from telling her? Have you used, “I love that necklace!” when you really didn’t, but it made you feel less socially awkward if you just said something?

All of this, even when it seems disappointing, trite, or shameful about the female culture, can be used as an opportunity. It doesn’t have to be “just the way we are.” We can use our comparisons as a platform to look at our bias, to look at our own insecurities, to examine what we find beautiful, important, and valued. And, perhaps more importantly, we can use it as an opportunity to meet other women, to compliment them genuinely, to use acceptance instead of competition to make friends, make peace, and build others’ confidence, as well as our own.

Besides all the stuff I can see from the outside about the women at the gym (or the bar, or the grocery, or on the street) the variety of women we come in contact with have a lot more going on. They are coming from different backgrounds and families-single, married, kids, without. Some are going to jobs, while some are unemployed. Some have had the worst morning ever and others can’t wait to start the day. Some feel great about their bodies, and others want to hide them. But we’re all constantly evaluating how we feel about ourselves throughout that day.

From the women of old, taking care of business without electricity (that includes TVs, I might add), to the psychiatrists on the morning show, to the hard-working women at the gym, the office, and at home, we are all females together - not on the same path, but certainly all on a journey to understand what feminine confidence really is, and how we can handle it, together.

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